- Designs (14)
- Misreadings (16)
- Permusations (38)
- Recommendations (3)
- 19. April 2009: Drifting with Dieter at the Flea market
- 9. April 2009: Imperceptions
- 29. March 2009: To Mail or not to mail
- 6. March 2009: Blogging while delirious
- 27. February 2009: A study in contrasts
- 22. February 2009: Southern Hospitality
- 10. February 2009: Surly Signs are Done
- 9. February 2009: From the Mouths of Babes
- 5. February 2009: Toast
- 26. January 2009: Hogan's Heroes-The Movie
Saving us from us
I was driving through downtown Minneapolis the other day and I saw this big van that had the words “Donut Destruction” on it. Unfortunately what it actually ended up saying was “Document Destruction.”Now, however important destroying sensitive documents might be, I really think that corporate Americans would be much better served by a Donut Destruction service that tries to combat the non-stop assault by management to placate, subdue or distract its drone with donuts and other snacks (and sorry people, but bagels are not healthy, not even whole grain ones. True, they might fall into the category of less unhealthy than donuts but how many things don’t). I mean, rarely do you hear anyone shout out, “hey, there are free carrots in the break room.”
The tactical endgame of donut mind-control is pretty transparent, but it surprisingly works. I used to call it fattening you up for the slaughter but they never really did slaughter you. They were content to let you fatten up, fall over and lay there like the prize hog at the fair, knowing that all that stored up inertia would take enormous amounts of energy to move, thus almost entirely mitigating the possibility of rebellious behavior. Donuts are the opiate of the people. You have to wonder what other management mind control tactics are out there. The truth is out there, but so are the donuts.
Maybe I should start a Donut Destruction service. You hire me to show up every morning and do a sweep of the office and remove all donuts and other related confectioneries. I would just walk around the office space yelling “Bring out your donuts, bring out your donuts.”
But donuts are good. I saw some show on TV the other day that is entirely dedicated to donuts. And did they look good. I have a love-hate relationship with donuts. I know that if I walk into a bakery or donut shop I will buy four or five donuts and I will eat them all, every last one of them. So I don’t go into bakeries or donut shops. Not unless I have the craving.
Maybe I can control my donut cravings with Zen like mind control. Ooommmm! I will become the donut, I am the donut, be the donut. If I am the donut I will not need to eat the donut.
8. July 2008 at 09:50
Mmmmmhhhh Donuts! As a famous cartoon character likes to say. I think they should be called Dog-nuts, then lets see if the office Drones will trample each other to get to them in the breakroom. Just think of the untold millions of dollars Corporate America has saved itself in incereased pay or bonuses by one or twice a week giving out free donuts.