27. February 2009 by Joe Gergen.

I flew back into town last night from Charlotte. It was 63 and sunny when I got to the airport. We were delayed in taking off several times because the airport in Minneapolis was closed to plow the runways. But we eventually did land amid the blowing snow and dropping temperature. So there was about 8 inches of snow and it was 3 degrees on the way to work today. That’s just damn confusing to the brain and the body.

 I did see a good misread on the plane though. there was a guy sitting in front of me across the aisle. I could see the spine of his book. i thought it said “Liberalism is a Mind Disorder” which I thought was pretty funny so I looked at it again to see what it really said and that’s what it really said. Curiosity got to me and I kept looking over at the guy for some reason, maybe hoping to see who would be reading such a book, but I definitely stopped looking over there when I noticed he was paging through a catalog filled with assault rifles. I immediately found something else to focus on.

Other good misreads this week.

When I was in Charlotte, my colleague and I were driving down one the highways between the hotel and the office. I saw this road sign that I thought said “Unusual to Pass.” And I thought I wonder why? The road did not look that odd. I thought maybe it was just trying to confuse people into doing nothing. If they were too busy trying to figure out what the sign meant they may not attempt to pass. Of course the sign said “Unlawful to Pass,” but I thought maybe the misdirection of “Unusual to Pass”  would create some confusion while at the same time not aggravate people who have problems with being told what not to do and would choose to pass just because it told them not to.

 The good one today came from a new cd I bought. The name of the band is Baby Soda. And the title of the cd is actually “Cures Everything but the Blues.” What I thought it said and thought nothing of it until much later was “Curse Everything but the Blues,” which I thought made total sense and didn’t even think I had misread it. It was so bluesy it was perfect.

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22. February 2009 by Joe Gergen.

I was just down in the Charlotte area for work. When I got back someone asked me if I had received any good southern hospitality.  I thought about it and thought, yes. People were very friendly and helpful in a little different way than in the north.

But I didn’t realize just how much this permeated or thought it permeated the culture until my traveling companions and I were checking the rental car back in.  I hadn’t really paid that much attention to the process of checking in and was standing near some benches where the shuttle to the airport picks you up.

I was gazing across the lot when I saw a sign that was giving instructions on how to check the car in. You know, park your car in designated spot, check for personal items, etc. Then the last line said ”Note:” and was followed by what I thought was ”Date,” ”Mileage” and lastly “Feel Love.” I was like, wow, that is really extending hospitality. I had already been addressed as sugar and love but this really sold me on southern hospitality.

My bad eyes forced me to walk a little closer to see what was really going on and I was disappointed when I found that it did indeed not say “Feel Love” but “Fuel Level.” It indeed made more sense but somehow I felt as if a little bit of my utopianesque view of southern hospitality had been torn away to reveal a little bit of that penny-pinching Yankee way.

 But then again, I don’t know how much of a Yankee I am since I grew up 40 some odd miles from the Canadian border in North Dakota. I’ve been accused of having a Canadian accent more often than a midwestern one, though I’ve never had “eh” as a part of my vocabulary. When I return to the Carolinas maybe I’ll try to explain that I’m not a Yankee but I suspect for all their southern hospitality they won’t really care about the distinction. Who can blame em.

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10. February 2009 by Joe Gergen.

Had a commission from my friend Pat to make a Surly beer sign for a liquor store. It is about two feet by two feet.

And with no further ado here it is.

What else is there to say…

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9. February 2009 by Joe Gergen.

I think this winter has been been very sheltered for me. I just haven’t been getting out enough. the world is changing around me and leaving me behind even faster than normal.

I know this because the other day I was leaving Home depot and a young man (and by that I mean young adult male older than 18) walked by me witha hoody and jeans on. Nothing I haven’t seen before. But what I hadn’t seen before was a young man walking down the street with a pacifier in his mouth. That’s right a baby pacifier or nook or plug or whatever different people call it. And yes I am sure it wasn’t a sucker or a tooth pick or a lollipop. I have seen my share of pacifiers and I know what they look like.

It was a pacifier. Now this is definitely new to me. Maybe this has been going on for a while and I just missed the craze. I’m just asking if someone can explain it to me. That’s all. I’m not judging. I’m just curious. Really.

I know we make our kids grow up way to fast now days. No time to be a child. So maybe this is just an outward gesture of that suppressed inner child who instead of getting to play in the mud after school was rushed off everyday after school to play soccer or tumble or whatever.

 Don’t talk to me about soccer.  Where’s my nook?

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5. February 2009 by Joe Gergen.

I was having some toast this morning with some peanut butter (not sure with or without salmonella) and some honey. I was thinking why is this so much better as toast as opposed to just bread.  And I thought, I don’t know, it just is.

 It was then I was glad that am not a scientist. Otherwise I would have to wonder why taking a piece of bread and removing moisture  and recooking part of it should taste better than not. I would think it can’t be a warmth comforty thing sine half the time one eats toast the toast in no overly warm by the time you get to eat it.

Being a scientist must be hard. Debunking or over analyzing the simple pleasures in life. The inability to let things just be as they are would be no fun. I will not join the no fun league. No I won’t.

Speaking of fun or funny. I was at the Verizon store today to have some contacts moved form one phone to another. While I was waiting I was looking at some of the latest gizmos available. I saw a Blackberry Storm. ooooh. I was reading through the features.  I thought one of them said Sheep Mode and I was thinking, exactly. Of course it said SleepMode as some battery saving feature, but I am pretty sure SheepMode is much more appropriate. And of course sheep are always funny.

Speaking of sheep, if you are into campy horror movies with sheep in them you should check out Black Sheep.  http://www.blacksheep-themovie.com/

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