20. October 2008 by Joe Gergen.

Sean Connery is dashing and all but here’s the Scot you want to hang out with. Harry Lauder, Scottish singer from the ’30s. Here’s recording of his called “A Wee Doch an Doris.” Now this guy is having some fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIwGD_XQNSM

You’re not always sure what he is saying but I assure you it is about drinking (isn’t that right, Clark). And he is having  a good time singing about it.

We need some guys like this in our NordEast bars who start singing about a last drink before hitting the road at last call. Nope, you don’t see much of that.  You just see too many belligerent drunks blabbering on “I’ve had too much to drink? I haven’t had too much to drink. I HAVE had too much to drink. No, I haven’t had too much to drink.”

On further thought if some Scot started singing about a wee doch he’d probably just get beat up.

And on an  unrelated note. Strongbad rules.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwRXY5mgfLg

Posted in Permusations | No Comments »

17. October 2008 by Joe Gergen.

To sleep, perchance to dream. Here’s a dream for my dear readers to help me analyze. Put your Freudian caps on and lets see what it all means.

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was in a tuxedo leaving a church where a wedding had just occurred. I got into this British sports car and there in the driver’s seat was Sean Connery sitting there whom I apparently had just married. It was winter and there was snow on the ground.  Mr Connery couldn’t drive too well in the snow and was fishtailing all over trying to get into traffic and was getting all frustrated. I turned to him and said, why are we married? We’re not even gay. He said something like, I don’t know.

That’s pretty much all I remember. I was pretty sure I was married and pretty sure I didn’t want to be. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to remember more. Where did that come from? I don’t think I have though about or seen Sean Connery in a long time, though I did hear some Scottish singer witha  thick brogue the other day. I was at a wedding a month ago so maybe something lingering there. I did ride in my friend Rick’s little sports car six weeks ago or so. What does it all mean?

It’s even more perplexing than the time I dreamed I was pregnant. I think I woke up in a cold sweat after that one. That was a long time ago, probably before I knew how biology worked. Just kidding.

So are there any would-be dream analyzers out there?  The winner gets, well, the winner gets diddly because it was just a dream.

Posted in Permusations | No Comments »

15. October 2008 by Joe Gergen.

If you’re going to write about the sun, I suppose you have to be prepared for songs about the sun to start running through your head.

Right now there is a war raging in my head. Who shall win and what might it mean is what concerns me.

In one corner we have “You are My Sunshine”.  Powered by the Ultra saccharin line “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, You make me happy when skies are gray, etc.” It’s only weakness is that it doesn’t go for the jugular with some puppy dogs and daisies.  But is able to hold in reserve the fact that the Man in Black himself recorded a version of it.

In the other corner we have the “Sunnyside of the Street” by the Pogues.  A seemingly brutal but perhaps ultimately optimistic look on life. Powered by these lyrics “Seen the carnival at rome, Had the women, I had the booze, All I can remember now, Is little kids without no shoes, So I saw that train And I got on it, With a heartful of hate, And a lust for vomit, Now I’m walking on the sunnyside of the street.” Not much to add to that except you probably follow it with a shot and not a spoonful of sugar.

I sense some sort of showdown here. But maybe Johnny Cash can walk over to the sunnyside of the street and have a beer with Shane MacGowan and work things out. I think that would be a good resolution.  
 

Posted in Permusations, Misreadings | No Comments »

14. October 2008 by Joe Gergen.

You never know what you’ll find on Craigslist. Especially the free section. Today I thought I found happiness.

I saw, right at the the top of the section called Free, “Sun in Alley, 123 Main Street.” I’m like someone is giving sun away. That’s like giving away happiness. 

But then I thought, hmm. The alley is a strange place for there to be lots of sun, though I suppose many a person has found happiness there. Use some caution on this one.

Needless to say I did not run out to find that free sun and turns out it was just “Stuff in the Alley” anyway, which again shows you that you see what you want to see.  But if that’s true then maybe you can give away sun to someone who’s willing to see it that way.

Maybe it is like Smokey Bear said: Only you can prevent forest fires. Except that what he really was going to say before some PR person changed it was : Only you can see happiness in a patch of sunlight coming down through a canopy of green.

So now I am thinking who knows what I might find on Craigslist if I just look at it in the right way. And who knows what I might find as I wander through my other daily activities. Will my vision be rose colored or myopic or shaded or jaded. Depends what glasses I put on or maybe how much coffee I have had or what sharp tool I have recently jabbed into my hand or whether there is still a nice piece of chocolate still in the fridge.

Chocolate! Scratch everything I just said. Chocolate is happiness and until someone is giving away free chocolate in a back alley somewhere I won’t be satisfied.

Posted in Misreadings | No Comments »

9. October 2008 by Joe Gergen.

A while ago I mentioned that my friend Rick won the “Best Legs in a Kilt Contest” at the St Paul Irish Fair. Well, he was wearing a Utilikilt, a working  man’s kilt. So far all you guys out there thinking you need a kilt, check out the Utilikilt web site.

Actually even if your not thinking of buying a Utilikilt, you should visit their website and watch some of the mock commercials that customers sent in.  Follow the link to see the list of mock commercials. Make sure to watch the one called “If It’s Not a Utilikilt.” I believe it is at the top of the list. If you’re not interested in buying a kilt, you might be after this.

http://www.utilikilts.com/?page_id=39

Posted in Permusations | No Comments »

8. October 2008 by Joe Gergen.

I kind of listened to the presidential debate last night while I was doing something else. I don’t usually watch or listen to them because they don’t typically tell me anything new or they are just uncomfortable to watch.

But I thought the best part of the debate was listening to Tom Brokaw trying to keep the candidates in line to the format and time allocations. He had to get testy with them a couple times and even then I think they just did pretty much what they wanted.  And Brokaw just kept trying to keep them focused.

I wasn’t looking at the TV so I couldn’t see Brokaw’s face but his voice was clearly tinged with frustration at times. I can just hear Brokaw thinking, I retired so I wouldn’t have to deal with this crap. This is worse than trying to get teenagers to focus on something for two minutes at a time.

Of course at times some of the answers seemed almost to defy response. Again I can hear Brokaw thinking that great line from Adam Sandler’s ”Billy Madison”: “Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Hey, that kind of sounds like this blog…

Posted in Permusations | No Comments »

1. October 2008 by Joe Gergen.

Yesterday I was looking for a homeopathic remedy (for what I shall not say) on the Internet. All kinds of things show up, of course. I misread one and thought it said “Homeopathic Cure for Sins.” I was like, Sweet.  Unfortunately it was actually Sinus and not sin.

Homeopathic medicine is an alternative to mainstream Western medicine, so I thought maybe there is a  homeopathic forgiveness  alternative to mainstream religious forgiveness. Kind of like  some homeopathic health cures don’t have the same nasty side effects as pharmaceuticals or surgery, so then a homeopathic cure for a sin might be free of typical side effects, say like guilt.

But maybe these cures really are out there. Or maybe they are not so much cures as treatments. Things like cleansings and meditations and herbals and body work. In essence, treating the spirit through the body.

Or maybe it wasn’t about the after effects but more of a vaccine. Perhaps it would stop you from sinning  or like a vaccine reduce the risk of sinning. Or perhaps it is like a sin contraceptive that allows you to sin but reduces or eliminates the repercussions. Or maybe that’s just called amorality.

Speaking of misreadings. As often as I misread things I am sure there are at times subconscious or Freudian things at play. Or maybe you just at times misread it be something you want it to be.

Like just now I was looking at envelope on desk that I was reading the back of. Granted I was reading it upside down and it had one of those “Printed on Recycled Paper” logos and says Printed on recycled Paper containing at least 30% post consumer waste.

What I saw was “Contaminated at least 30%.” I’m not sure what that would mean but I thought it was maybe like hamburger that is “At last 75% lean” though I am not sure if I really know what that means either.

Posted in Permusations, Misreadings | No Comments »

29. September 2008 by Joe Gergen.

A potential customer, who shall remain anonymous, asked me to design a mid-century modern looking table base for a kitchen table.  He wanted a darker color and a sleek minimal look. I did my research on mid-century modern and actually came up with a design partially based on that feel and partially based on some scraps of walnut I had around.

Needless to say my uninspiring drawing capabilities did not win me the day. But I liked the design so much and had most of the wood available, I decided to build it anyway.  I had enjoyed the challenge of accounting for a customer’s desires, keeping true to my own design sense and using available materials.

The legs to the table are what led to part of the design because they were the negative waste, if you will, of a long curved bench I had made. I had to smooth out the curve on the inside of the legs but other than that I used them in the shape that had come out of the bench. I think they look like rocket fins, which makes perfect sense for a mid-century jet age look.

 The remainder of the design was  aimed at keeping it simple and sleek. I think the spindles reaching up from the square base to the apron achieve elevation in a minimal way. The other option was to have a single larger column rising up from the middle, but since I had the thinner spindles as waste from the bench, they won the day.

So this is my version of modern.

Posted in Designs | No Comments »

28. September 2008 by Joe Gergen.

Not sure even how to describe the band I saw at the Cedar Cultural Center on Saturday. The Nordic Roots Festival brought over a Swedish group called “Detektivbyrån”, I believe Detective Bureau in English.

The easy part to describe would be how they looked. Imagine if the Ramones’ parents had given them a glockenspiel, an accordion and sampling keyboard instead of guitars and drums. Exactly. Just imagine Joey Ramone rocking the accordian with one hand and playing the keyboard with the other and throw in some head thrashing and you got it.

How do they sound? Infectious, energetic, and great deal a lot like you would expect a glockenspiel, an accordion put through an effects board, some sampling and a drum kit would sound. I know that watching and listening to them made me smile. I noticed it made many people around me smile too.  Except for the guy down the row who plugged his ears on one song, though that may be was because of the piercing loudness of some of the higher pitcthed glockenspiel notes.

Anyway, you can listen here  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLTS0tcqgZE to one example.

I think the thing that sealed the deal on the concert was when the drummer played a scissors as the percussion instrument through an entire song. And it did actually sound like a scissors snapping shut. Snip snipsnip, snip snipsnip, snip snipsnip. Ya, baby.

The wonderful creative minds out there. Which reminds me the other day I saw an ad for “Dancing with the Stars,” which I have never seen, but I thought it said “Dancing with the Bears.” Now that would be cool. Just try to look sexy doing the tango with a bear, assuming it will dance a tango. I can just see this giant Russian Bear standing there with his arms crossed saying “I only dance Mazurka.” Contestants would be more worried about being thrown off the stage than thrown off the show.

I’ll have to name my first recording, “If You can get a Bear to Tango” or maybe “Songs to get Tossed By.”

But back to the Detektivbyrån. Oh, just go listen to them. You’ll get the idea.

Posted in Permusations, Recommendations | 2 Comments »

21. September 2008 by Joe Gergen.

I was at the Weisman Art Museum last Friday for a fundraiser for the Twin Cities Music Foundation. They were having a silent art auction to benefit the foundation and I had donated two pieces. The lamp I donated actually sold so that was good for the foundation.

I know that sounds very generous of me but my real motivation was to have some exposure for my work. I think it worked. What was more fascinating to me though was to not only  watch the silent auction process but but to ponder the art and the artists.

I don’t usually consider my furniture art though some of it can be sculptural in nature, so maybe it’s unintentionally art. But there the lamp was surrounded by paintings and photographs and sculpture and more. My friend Linda and I tried to contemplate the amount of effort and creativity and inspiration that went into the pieces (most of them anyway). I wondered what a strange process it must be to try to price art.

Maybe my challenge is that I look at it as having to make a living making art or making something, anyway. And in thinking of it that way perhaps I am doomed to not understand. I know it is often a labour of love that does not always have measurable financial gains.  I know also that some people only do it part time or have other financial support. If I was a real artist maybe I could get a patron, like some Duke of Chutney or something.

Where was I going with this. Oh, yes. The difficulty in pricing art. At the silent auction you could see the minimum bids (which I understand are not entirely reflective of what one might typically sell it for) and the prices ranged from $50 to $1800.   I looked at them and thought, having some reasonable knowledge of the effort involved, this artistry stuff pays somewhere below minimum wage. No wonder there are starving artists.

But I know also that artistry must follow the same market pressures as other things. Supply and demand, perceptions, brand recognition, credibility, death, etc. So I know that just like  for every 1000 bars of soap that sell for $5 there’s the one that sells for $100 and so the same is true for art however much we may not want it to be that way.

Or as Hamlet would say, It’s just a lamp, take it for all and all.

Posted in Designs | No Comments »