19. January 2009 by Joe Gergen.

So the band I am in, Piper Down, is playing a concert at my house this week. We were supposed to play at a coffee shop but unfortunately the shop closed. So we decided to have a show anyway.

After we were done rehearsing yesterday, James, the guitar player, looks at me and asks, “Well, what did you think of that?”

It was odd and odd I suppose because oddly enough I had no idea what to think of it.  I play the fiddle and am used to playing with just a guitar player so when we added a bass and some percussion, I was like, what is all that noise coming from behind me…

Whoever thought they were in control of what this band was going to sound like is clearly not in control anymore. It’s like Frankenstein’s monster in that we have no idea what we have created, but of course that in no way will stop us from unleashing it on the world. . Lord have mercy on anyone who gets in the way.

But it’s not really a new feeling or me. I get that same feeling often with some of my pieces of furniture.  I think, where in the hell did that idea come form and how did it it end up made out of wood.

Though maybe that’s the secret to these interesting developments. You just plant the seed, do a little cultivating and weeding and get out of the way. Let nature do the work. From a small acorn…

Posted in Permusations | No Comments »

14. January 2009 by Joe Gergen.

I was at the coop the other day, actually yesterday, and I heard one clerk telling another clerk that he needed to read the Little House on the Prairie books. Why, he asks. She said because it will make you see what it was like to go through a really tough winter. I think she was right.

Perhaps we have lost perspective. I think back to my parent’s generation. Not that long ago. I remember the countless stories of how cold and nasty winter was.  About having to wake up in the morning and break the ice on the water in the wash basin so you could clean up, and this was inside. The snow drifts that went to the top of the electrical poles. The poor persons who died in the blizzard because the conditions were so bad they could see no more than a few feet, only to be discovered the next day 20 feet from their farm house.

And now when it is -20 degrees, we complain because our car barely started, because there is a draft in our 68 degreehouse, because our hands go momentarily cold while shoveling snow. Boy that’s rough.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am totally aware that if you were to get caught out in this kind of cold weather it could easily kill you.

But we also quickly forget that when when the winter came around in the north, past generations did a lot of holing up. Getting out and about in the winter, especially in rural areas, was a big deal. They essentially hibernated.

Of course now days if we can’t get out for a few days we all get cabin fever horribly bad. God forbid when it is 20 below that we stop carting our kids around to extracurricular activities 5 days a week or expecting that I can do all the same things I would do on a nice spring day. God forbid we would take advantage of the freezing weather to just slow down for a moment.

So put some long underwear on, a big sweater too, get underneath a woolly blanket and curl up on the couch with a book.  Come on, I know you can do it. I know people who still do.

Posted in Permusations | No Comments »

11. January 2009 by Joe Gergen.

You know how when they combine cuisine styles they call it fusion.  Or when musical styles are combined like jazz fusion. Well, this latest lamp is kind of like that except that it’s not two different styles but two different pieces fused.

I had a wonderful client who wanted the look of a particular table lamp set atop the base of one of my floor lamps. Of course, I said I could do it though at the moment I did not know exactly how that was going to happen.

I knew that technically there were lots of possibilities for mechanically getting them together, though granted I had actually never done any of them. The hard part was going to be making the connection between the two if not entirely seamless at least  a smooth innocuous transition, or an elegant fusion if you will.

If yoy take a look at the picture you will notice that the key transition point is between the bottom of the curve near the top and the long shaft coming from below. My gut reaction to the solution was to find a way to cradle the curve, like an extended hand cradling a small bird or a bunch of grapes or, well, you get the idea.

So I fashioned my self a piece of wood that on the bottom side I could attach to the shaft. I used a basic mortise and tenon joint, simple and solid. As for the cradling part, the first goal was to match the curve of the top of the lamp to the cradle, which is essentially an exercise in patience as futz away until the two pieces become one.

Now as the process of shaping the cradle went on I kept checking the proportion of the cradle to the rest of the lamp. What happened was that the cradle kept getting smaller and smaller, and in fact had it lost much more size may have ceased functioning as much of a cradle. But the cradle persevered and all was well with the lamp.

Posted in Designs | 2 Comments »

1. January 2009 by Joe Gergen.

I just got done watching Hell Boy II. You know, a movie about a demon who works for the government to save us from menaces.

So in the middle of the movie there is this scene where one of the characters is falling for another character and he puts on Barry Manilow’s “Can”t Smile without You.” An obviously sentimental song that brings some comic relief to the movie. But it’s still  a movie about a demon fighting bad guys, except that when the credits roll we get to hear the Barry Manilow blasting out. Again Yes, it was funny but it seemed so, ah, incongruous.

So it’s been a superhero holiday season.  Hell Boy on New Years and we watched the Dark Knight on Christmas Eve. I suspect I’ll be watching the Incredible Hulk on Valentine’s Day.

Oh and I suppose it is happy New Year to you all. I look forward to continuing a supply of misreadings and fascinating insights.

Posted in Permusations | No Comments »

22. December 2008 by Joe Gergen.

You know how you’ll see headlines that go something like  “FBI: Leaks to media unsolved” or “SEC: We had no idea what a ponzi scheme was.”  So I saw one the other day that I thought read “NASCAR: Polar ice melting at accelerated rate.” I’m thinking, why does NASCAR care about polar ice? Obviously it was NASA who was talking about polar ice, but I did figure out why NASCAR would care.

Why does NASCAR care? Well, not for the obvious reason that they spew untold and pointless pollution into the air during their races and practices. And not because their plans for a NASCAR track at the North Pole would be foiled.

No, it’s because sea levels will rise and and flood places like the Florida panhandle, Georgia and Alabama and thus displacing the majority of NASCAR fans. The furture of the sport might be at stake.

If they are so worried  about sea levels rising, maybe they should come up witha  strategy to combat ice melt. Maybe they should go green. Convert all race cars to electric. No more pollution.

I know it sounds silly, but remember that car companies gain great deals of knowledge from car racing in designing new cars in respects to aerodynamics, horse power and so on. So it might stand to reason that car companies could learn a great deal about electric motors and batteries and the like from racing electric cars. 

 And if NASCAR doesn’t want to go green, I say we nationalize it and force it to go green. That way NASCAR could benefit all Americans, not just those in the Florida panhandle. And then from all the technological advances that occur we can design the new People’s Car and then we can nationalize Chrysler and have them make the new People’s Car.

Brilliant!

Posted in Misreadings | No Comments »

6. December 2008 by Joe Gergen.

I have been intrigued for the last few days by some Hershey’s Mint Chocolate Candy Canes. I saw them the other day at the grocery store. Being a chocolate-loving person, I suspected they would disappoint. Not because they would necessarily be bad but that they would not be chocolate.  I am thinking they would smell a great deal like some good chocolate but would not taste like chocolate. Perhaps not as bad but somewhere in the realm of chocolate soda pop, smells good but tastes really not like chocolate.

I am pretty sure I will buy some before the holiday season is over. The good thing is the pack of 12 will probably last until spring as I will resort to eating them only when I have a severe sweet tooth and there is nothing else to satisfy the craving.

Kind of like I buy eggnog every year except that I really like eggnog.  But it’s so rich I can only drink a cup of it and I assure it will not last until spring. I’ll still buy some.  Though this year I am going to have a backup drink.  I was at a party a couple weeks ago and had some hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks.  That was good. Maybe a little too good.  And I didn’t even put any booze in it. And clearly much less filling.

And for those of you who love chocolate or know someone who does, Linda introduced me to BT McElrath a few years ago.  Just amazing.

http://www.btmcelrath.com/

Posted in Permusations | 2 Comments »

5. December 2008 by Joe Gergen.

You know how sometimes when you eat out for breakfast or decide to make a big brunch that the amount of food, the fattiness or sweetness is all just a bit too much.  And you think after your done, I did not need 3000 calories for breakfast. I did not need two eggs, pancakes, hash-browns and sausage. But that doesn’t stop us from doing it the next time.

I thought I saw a product this morning that instead of raging against this behavior, seemed to embrace it. My nephew was making some breakfast this morning and saw he was going to make some sausage. I saw the box across the kitchen and was sure the box said “Sizzle and Seizure.” I thought, now that is embracing the spirit of the mega breakfast. No apologies.

The product name was actually “Sizzle and Serve” but we all know “Sizzle and Seizure” is more accurate and we accept the marketing ploy as the norm. Marketing. What a powerful thing. I was going to say that marketing is the opiate of the people, but that’s not quite right. But it is the something of the people for sure, I just haven’t put my finger on the right word. Maybe it’s the breakfast sausage of the people. Who knows.

I do know I made my nephew make me some breakfast while he was at it and so was in no ways deterred  by the overt or covert message of the “Sizzle and Seizure” sausage.

Posted in Permusations, Misreadings | No Comments »

2. December 2008 by Joe Gergen.

OK,

So I saw a panel truck today with a logo on it that read “BJs Wood Services.’  Nope, I didn’t misread it.

That’s it. I’ve got nothing.

Posted in Misreadings | No Comments »

1. December 2008 by Joe Gergen.

I was driving home from North Dakota the other day after visiting my Mom. Not much to see on that road back except road signs and billboards. I misread a few.

A saw a sign on an exit ramp  somewhere between Bismarck and Fargo. I thought it said “No Survivors.” And as I looked to my right and saw a couple run down farm building, I thought, “Perhaps.” The sign actually said no services, which is obviously a common sign on exit ramps in North Dakota. I wondered whether No Survivors meant “if you’re looking for someone they are probably not here” or “if you take this exit you may not survive.”  I few years ago it was probably the first thought. But with oil booming and windpower growing the state has become a decent energy exporter with the state budget surplus this year over a billion, maybe they’re just trying to keep the opportunists out.

Then upon approaching Fargo I saw I a billboard that said “Industrial Medicine Services.” I wondered if this was an alternative to managed care. Kind of like industrial equipment, maybe.  Like the difference between a hobbyist table saw and an industrial table saw, or the difference between a $50 Black and Decker paint sprayer and a $4000 paint sprayer. The cheaper smaller equipment can be used by most anyone, can be set up quickly and kind of works for your needs and is efficient for small jobs. Whereas the big equipment probably takes some training, requires more setup and so is best used for big jobs and  pushing lots of units through.

Hey, hold on. That sounds just like managed care. See they thought they could pull one over on me. No siree. Whoever they are.

Oh, I did see a good sign out front of a Walmart in North Dakota.  In front of a cage filled with X-mas trees I saw a sign that said “Christmas Trees are Free.” Alas it really just said “Christmas Trees are here.” Then I thought maybe a new priceless Visa commercial could go “Christmas is free. Enjoying it is not. Visa, it’s everything you want Christmas to be.” But that is so cynical.  Come on, the Whos proved you could enjoy Christmas without presents. I mean, all I need is some eggnog and a battered copy of The Ref.

Posted in Misreadings | No Comments »

13. November 2008 by Joe Gergen.

I need to write this entry so I can stop my obsession with lamps. Or have all the work bear great fruit. Either outcome would be fine.

This is the story of the  four lamps and the evolution that occurs from the first to the last. Or perhaps it is devolution that occurs.

It all started with some scraps of wood sitting around that were too small to make into anything substantial. So I thought I could make some funky table lamps out of them.

Lamp 1. So I made a bunch of 4×4 squares of cherry about one half inch thick and started stacking them in different configurations. Once I had stacked them ad nauseum I started to narrow the options down to what I could string a lamp cord through (I know that seems like such a creative-limiting move but since i didn’t want to install a battery powered light fixture and since I don’t know much about the transferring of electricity via microwaves I accepted this limitation).

You will see that what I ended up with was a simple rectangular Base with the rectangles cascading linearly in a backwards direction (or forwards depending on how you place the lamp). Creates kind of a nice offset feel while retaining some pleasing lines. Almost has a grand staircase feel to it.

Lamp 2. Second verse same as the first. Almost. But we throw a twist in there to break up the lines. The swirl creates some sense of motion, more like a spiral staircase. The twist carries the plane away from us then brings it back a little. Perhaps keeping us grounded.

Lamp 3. If one is good two is better. Here we try to add mixed motions (or maybe mixed emotions).  If one spiral staircase is good, a second will be even better, especially if they seem to be dancing with each other, or perhaps juxtaposed. I sometimes think it has that Ziegfeld follies synchronized swimming swirling feel to it. Or maybe a tango dance as someone has suggested.

And you’ll notice here the wood lamp shade.  I decided that since the lampshade can be such an integral part of the  lamp experience, why leave it to chance. So we created here a nice geometric design with a subtlety patterned paper to diffuse the light.

Lamp 4. Then we decided to take the idea horizontal and have the spiral come out at us and attacking the new plane from a different angle. Not only does the spiral come out at us it also dips in slightly, due to the walnut squares being thicker on one side than the other. The movement is very subtle and is difficult to see in the photo. The slight dip creates a bit of an off-putting feel about it and throws the lines into a slightly different place than you expect. It also manages to make sure that nothing about the piece is level.

Which takes us to the lamp shade, which is square and level.  This opens up options on how to situate the shade.  In the photo the front lip of the shade is level but is raked slightly forward, like a fedora raked slightly forward. You could also set the shade level on all sides or you could set it level to the top of the post, creating challenging  reactions from the people viewing it.

The few reactions I have had to it so far have been hard to guage. Linda said it looked like a wild animal. I think it looks like something sprouting from the earth.

So I guess this kind of what I mean when I say my style is evolutionary. Hard to predict, hard to explain, but I think easy to look at. I can’t imagine how anyone would not want an evocative lamp like one of these.

Posted in Designs | 1 Comment »